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Saturday, June 11, 2005

12:41 PM - The First Battle (in a thick scottish brogue)

The Dream vs. Howie
(...a what if...)

The night is dark, the storm is strong. The charles is choppy and the rain rises the tide along the banks of river.

All power in Cambridge is out, light is nowhere to be found. The masses of intellectuals hide in their dormitories eating easy mac and lighting novelty candles they bought at Newbury comics freshman year.

In spite of the rain and in search of activities, Howie Mandell mounts his unicycle and goes off into the night.

..Across the river from MIT, the dream sits in a sub-basement of Harvard Grad School. With the electricity out, he must use his forbidden Voodoo powers to fix the latest malfunction. No rodents dare cross his path, for they sense the truth; he is king of the animal kingdom.

While envoking the dark arts and consumed with mystical venezuelan voodoo, the dream catches the scent of Howie. Threatened by the thought of randomness and Freewill procured at MIT, the bloodlust begins. The hunt for manmeat takes over and the computer repairs will have to wait.

Above the raging torrents, a lone light illuminates the Harvard footbridge. The wind is stronger, as if nature understands the battle for humanity that is about to take place.

While juggling 5 bowling pins in one hand and creating mathematical origami in the other, Howie stops his unicycle at the bridge when hearing a carnal yell. A mist twirls and blows into the divide.

Across the bridge is the Dream. Knowing he must end howie, his wings flex underneath his breakdancing shimmering sleevless shirt. Howie is the light force that brings confusion and bliss to all situations; perplexing the wit and confouding the ignorant. If Howie is successful in total mind control, people will learn how to fix computers themselves.

This genocide of computer techies will not occur as long as the dream succeeds.

At 3:10 am the man dance begins..

Howie removes his nike sports backpack and launchesa volley of .07mm mechanical pencils towards the dream.

The dream becomes mist and allows the arrows to permiate his vapor entity. Following the pencils, dream returns the favor by releasing edge-sharpened cd's towards howie.

Howie creates a full body armor shield using origami and blocks the discs.
Steadfast and smiling, Howie begins to lead church songs with a booming clap.

The dream cannot take the psy-ops tactic used by his enemy and runs the length of the bridge and launches into the air with his wings. He flies around, eats a few birds then swoops in for a fatal blow with his talons.

As dream comes in for the kill, Howie thinks fast. Trying to pick his brain for a suitable defense, he removes the LIVESTRONG(tm) bracelet from his wrist and jumps onto the dreams back.

Flying around and battling in the air, Howie manages to fold the bracelet into two and bind dream's wings together, plunging both of them into the rapid current of the Charles.

Thankfully, both are amphibious and use their gills to breath underwater.

While in the river they gaze at each other and have a psychic discussion:

"::We are strong ::
::We have ManDanced::
::We are One ::
::Together we can win the world:: "
Rolling onto the banks they reconcile their differences and return to their respective domains.

With the sunrise comes a new day and a Howie/Dream union of bliss.

Posted By Chris @ 12:41 PM

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