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Saturday, June 11, 2005

12:41 PM - The First Battle (in a thick scottish brogue)

The Dream vs. Howie
(...a what if...)

The night is dark, the storm is strong. The charles is choppy and the rain rises the tide along the banks of river.

All power in Cambridge is out, light is nowhere to be found. The masses of intellectuals hide in their dormitories eating easy mac and lighting novelty candles they bought at Newbury comics freshman year.

In spite of the rain and in search of activities, Howie Mandell mounts his unicycle and goes off into the night.

..Across the river from MIT, the dream sits in a sub-basement of Harvard Grad School. With the electricity out, he must use his forbidden Voodoo powers to fix the latest malfunction. No rodents dare cross his path, for they sense the truth; he is king of the animal kingdom.

While envoking the dark arts and consumed with mystical venezuelan voodoo, the dream catches the scent of Howie. Threatened by the thought of randomness and Freewill procured at MIT, the bloodlust begins. The hunt for manmeat takes over and the computer repairs will have to wait.

Above the raging torrents, a lone light illuminates the Harvard footbridge. The wind is stronger, as if nature understands the battle for humanity that is about to take place.

While juggling 5 bowling pins in one hand and creating mathematical origami in the other, Howie stops his unicycle at the bridge when hearing a carnal yell. A mist twirls and blows into the divide.

Across the bridge is the Dream. Knowing he must end howie, his wings flex underneath his breakdancing shimmering sleevless shirt. Howie is the light force that brings confusion and bliss to all situations; perplexing the wit and confouding the ignorant. If Howie is successful in total mind control, people will learn how to fix computers themselves.

This genocide of computer techies will not occur as long as the dream succeeds.

At 3:10 am the man dance begins..


Howie removes his nike sports backpack and launchesa volley of .07mm mechanical pencils towards the dream.

The dream becomes mist and allows the arrows to permiate his vapor entity. Following the pencils, dream returns the favor by releasing edge-sharpened cd's towards howie.

Howie creates a full body armor shield using origami and blocks the discs.
Steadfast and smiling, Howie begins to lead church songs with a booming clap.

The dream cannot take the psy-ops tactic used by his enemy and runs the length of the bridge and launches into the air with his wings. He flies around, eats a few birds then swoops in for a fatal blow with his talons.

As dream comes in for the kill, Howie thinks fast. Trying to pick his brain for a suitable defense, he removes the LIVESTRONG(tm) bracelet from his wrist and jumps onto the dreams back.

Flying around and battling in the air, Howie manages to fold the bracelet into two and bind dream's wings together, plunging both of them into the rapid current of the Charles.

Thankfully, both are amphibious and use their gills to breath underwater.

While in the river they gaze at each other and have a psychic discussion:

"::We are strong ::
::We have ManDanced::
::We are One ::
::Together we can win the world:: "
Rolling onto the banks they reconcile their differences and return to their respective domains.

With the sunrise comes a new day and a Howie/Dream union of bliss.

Posted By Chris @ 12:41 PM

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3:50 AM - greatest phone conversation of my life!!

i call nan ling's chinese food restaurant...

chinese girl: hi, nan ling, may i he'p you?
me: oh, nan, i need food!
nan ling: okah, you wan' pick up food?
me: no, nan, i want delivery.
nan ling: okah, wha' your address?
me: the park plaza hotel, valet office.
nan ling: ooohhhhhhhh...valet office...you wan' chicken finger, beef teryaki an' por' fry rice an' two mountain dew?
me: oh, yes, nan! you know me so well!
nan ling: okah, thirty minute.
me: thank you, nan, thank you!

...it's taken nearly three years, but my dream came true tonight!

Posted By adamov killidol, esq. @ 3:50 AM

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Thursday, June 09, 2005

1:05 PM - I need to meet Aga.


Also, Dan, if there is anyway I could meet Aga, you know, since I'll
be working as a sales associate now (you didn't know that, I called
Jeff Tabor and asked.), that would be great. I just feel like I have
some really interesting business ideas I'd love to talk to her about
...over coffee...har!
www.artistcoffee.com

Posted By The Deotch @ 1:05 PM

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12:35 PM - 2nd Day! New look!

Already we have a new look. I figured out how to get the menu to stop blocking the banner, which allowed me to move the banner back to its original place (up about 50 pixels), which allowed me to put a bigger banner with more people (except for tizz, tizz I don't have any good pictures of you, find me one) and in the end give the site a cleaner look. Holla.

Oh, and Dan, come on man! That shouldn't cut it as a first post. Gotta do better. See what I am doing? I'm not even being funny, I'm just talking, its like the people (and I pity these people) who are reading this are right here with me. Its not that I'm being funny Dan, thats not the point, I'm involving them in the inner-workins of The BSB! They can live the dream with us, in whatever sort of vicarious and pathetic way they chose, and its all possible because of this beautiful site. A post doesn't have to be funny guys, we can all just live our lives on this site, and give others a venue to live our lives like we do. Look at Adam's life, how glamorous and debonaire (pfffffff...*stifled laugh*)! All of us want a little of Adam in us (add a heavy dose of sarcasm here), and now we can! Thats Blackhouse Society of Boston. Uselessness of the Highest Order. Thank you, and goodnight.

/its 12:35 pm
//just wanted to use the Bekins "Double-Slash" Principle.

Posted By The Deotch @ 12:35 PM

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12:28 PM - Shameless Plug

So I have decided not to work today but instead convince myself that I am working by including this link to my website...http://www.artistcoffee.com

I hate the site and will be changing it as soon as I stop kicking myself for paying way too much for what you are about to see... the coffee is great, the website sucks!

Posted By The Chet @ 12:28 PM

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5:36 AM - i also wanted to share these with everyone...


and...

...jimbeaux wants his cornish hen back.

Posted By adamov killidol, esq. @ 5:36 AM

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4:14 AM - complaining

the following things don't happen every night, but they happen often enough for me to be really, really annoyed by them.

10:30pm
hey boss, i'm coming in early, so can you do me a couple of favors? turn on the air conditioner while you work and find a better deoderent, the office smells like a locker room.

10:38pm
oh yeah, and you're welcome to leave early if i come in early, but can you clean up the office a little bit before you go? there are keys and tickets everywhere, the desk is covered with papers. why were you reading espn.com when i came in fifteen minutes ago? couldn't you have been doing cashout so that it wouldn't be left for me to do after you've gone home.

10:55pm
to the other valets; hey, i know we all enjoy the two dollar cheeseburgers from the bar in the hotel, but three guys in the office mowing down on meat is a little much. it'd be cool if you'd thought enough to buy me one, too, but since you didn't, take it outside...the office already smells like man, i don't need to smell burger until one am, too.

11:00pm
actual shift starts.

11:25pm
things have calmed down long enough for me to sit down at the computer and sign on to AIM.

11:35pm
...sorry it took me so long to reply to your instant message, but i am at work and someone just pulled up to check in to the hotel. customer's first!!

12:05am
hey pal, i know it's thursday (or friday or saturday) night and you're just going to the bar for a little while...and it really will be my pleasure to charge you twenty-two dollars to park here for an hour and a half...but look at the curb, there are at least fifteen cars ALL BACKED IN. why? why? why did you feel the need to pull in at the retardedly crooked angle that you did?

12:50am
guy pulls up and starts taking his luggage out so i go outside to talk to him.
"hi, sir. are you going to be checking in?" (obvious question)
"yes, i am."
"and do you want to valet your car?"
"what's that?"
WHAT'S THAT?!?!? do you seriously not know what valet parking is????
"well, sir, we take your car and give you a claim ticket with an extension on it that you can call from your room. whenever you need your car just call and we'll pull it up and have it waiting right here for you. it's thirty-six dollars a night and will go right onto your room bill."
"thirty-six dollars...wow...what are my other options?"
"well, you can park it yourself in that garage across the street, they have hourly rates that are about twenty dollars for ten hours. or you could grab that meter spot right there, it's free until eight am."
"hmmm.......i guess we'll just do valet."
"really, sir. that spot over there is open and it is free until eight."
"yeah, but i don't want to have to wake up at eight to feed the meter."
"you mean you'd rather pay thirty-six dollars to park here than wake up at eight to put two dollars in the meter?"
"yeah."
"okay...whatever...what's the name your room is going to be under...?"

12:55am
i see some tool pull into a spot on the line and i let him walk into the hotel, thinking he found a free parking spot. then i block him in with the car that just checked in. this will provide me with amusement later.

1:00am-2:00am
this is when i usually post on hookang, read wrestling message boards, watch wrestling music videos that i download, read article on fark.com and, most likely, carry on some kind of conversation with jessica.

2:00am
bars close, clubs let out. i give the least drunk person in their party the keys.

2:20am
the tool that pulled in to the spot earlier comes up to the window.
"uh, can you move the car that's blocking me in?"
"why would you think that i could do that?"
"you're the valet, right?"
"so you know that you parked on a valet curb?"
"uh..."
"the spot that you parked in is a valet spot. it costs twenty-two dollars to park there. i'll move the car after you pay twenty-two dollars."
"what?!?! i ain't payin' you (explative)!!!"
"yes. you will."
"no i won't! i'm callin' the cops!"
"sir, the cops will make you pay. it's called "theft of services," like running out without paying your cab fare. you can feel free to call them, or i can call security."
"no...no, fine, whatever! here!"
tool pays, i move the car, tool leaves.

2:45am
a mini-van with conneticut license plates pulls up to check into the hotel. mom, dad and three kids all get out. they've got more luggage than they can carry, so i have to take it to the lobby for them. why would anyone drive from conneticut just to get here at 2:45, i have no idea! it's very poor travel planning if you as me, but it happens all the time. and it's not like they just flew in late and got a rental, no, it's their own car, full of snacks and sleeping bags and a tv with various disney movies strewn about the front seats.

3:00am
the bar managers that park with us leave after finishing whatever it is they do.

3:02am
i lay my head down on the desk and close my eyes.

3:15am
i wake up and turn the air conditioner off because it is freezing!!! then i put my head back down.

3:35am
a hooker knocks on the window and wakes me up. she needs to borrow a pen.
"yeah, sure. keep it." back to sleep.

3:40am
it's suddenly hot in the office again, so i wake up and turn the air conditioner back on, but i put a chair in front of it so that it doesn't blow right on to me.

4:00am
the phone rings...someone wants their car. lord knows i hate getting pickups at four am. ...they better tip.

4:25am
five dollar tip. it was worth it.

4:40am
another pick-up, needs it IMMEDIATLY!!!!!!

5:00am
twenty minutes later...so much for "immediatly." one dollar tip. seriously, one dollar? you insult me. this is basically as good as nothing. i can't even buy two candy bars with a dollar. it's not even enough for most packs of gum, nowadays. it won't even pay my train fare home. your generosity at this early hour is underwhelming.

5:15am
i want to close my eyes again, but i know that the hotel managers will be coming in soon and it's not good for them to catch me sleeping, so i just play games on the internet until the six o'clock guy gets in.

6:20am
the six o'clock guy comes in.

...he hasn't showered.

6:35am
the six o'clock guy has gone to take his coffe break...yeah, only fifteen minutes after he swiped in...so i have to go get the pick-up that got called down. the location on the ticket is wrong, so i search the garage and find it two floors above where the ticket said it would've been. could've been worse. could've searched the whole garage only to look out the window from the top floor and see that the car was parked on the curb the whole time.

6:45
a guest knocks on the valet door.
"can i help you?"
"i need to check some luggage."
"did you read the sign posted on the check room door?"
"yes."
"then why didn't you go find the bellman?"
"i thought you could open the room for me."
"no, i can't. the bellman has the key. that's why the sign says to call the bellman."
"oh."
"don't worry. i'll call him for you."
"thanks."
"sure. no problem."

7:00am
seven o'clock guy comes in. front man comes in. my shift is basically over, but i have to wait for my manager to come in...twenty minutes late.

7:15am
guy comes up to the window. he needs his car, but lost his ticket. there's nothing registered on his room or his friends...it's a red hyundai...i can't find it anywhere. i search through all seventy-five tickets we have hanging on the wall, we don't have a single hyundai parked here. i don't know where his keys are.

7:25am
my manager comes in. i tell him about the guy's keys that i can't find. he looks in all the same places that i looked, still nothing. i go to the garage to see if we even have it parked here.

7:40am
i find the car in the garage...i call my manager and give him the ticket number that's on the dash. he finds it quickly...it's marked as a red kia, but the hyundai key is in the bag. he sends someone to get it.

7:50am
i've changed into my street clothes and swipe out.

8:00am
i catch a b-train overcrowded with "m.a.t.c.h." kids, so i can't get a seat.

8:35am
i get home and go to sleep.

Posted By adamov killidol, esq. @ 4:14 AM

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12:25 AM - All is well in casa de negro


In the black house, there is no sound... The last thing you ever see is JH strumming and twitching along to the Mission Impossble remix by Limp Bizkit.

Posted By Chris @ 12:25 AM

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Wednesday, June 08, 2005

2:59 PM - Mind-blowing mind-drivel

My mind is officially blown.

and also...



All this and more can be seen at Hookang.info (up in the links section). But only the worthy may post comments. Thank you, that is all.

Posted By The Deotch @ 2:59 PM

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12:32 AM - First Post by The Dream

I always wonder why the people who know me think I can hack the internet.

Is it because I fix computers for a living or that I carry a laptop around with me?

Anyone can hack, and all you have to do is ask me nicely.

Here’s a freebie…how to hack your friend’s Hotmail.

http://www.net-force.nl/files/articles/hotmail_xss/ Not for newbies....

Posted By The Dream @ 12:32 AM

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Tuesday, June 07, 2005

11:18 PM - Blackhouse Society's Inaugural Message

My name is D.H. "The Deotch" Bathon. Some of you may know me as Randy from Life of Randy (Now with version 2.0!)

Recently, it has come to our attention here at Blackhouse that the internet lacks meaningless content. Sure, you can spend your days browsing the RSS feeds looking for s0-called "news" about such topics as the economy, Britney Spears, the war in Iraq, or how France, as a general rule, sucks at everything. Obviously this information is available in droves to the individuals who seek it, and its consumption comes easy to those of us with tighter sphincters and lonely social lives. But who has that kind of time to fill their minds with times, dates, names and other such factual information.

Drivel is the word of the day, and blogging is the clown by which the pie of uselessness will be delivered to the face that is America and her constituents. We at Blackhouse Society of Boston have no purpose, but we do have a goal. As a collective, none of us are sure exactly what this goal is, nor would we agree upon said goal should we show the initiative to get together and formulate one. Our goal, and I am almost 67% sure I speak for all of us when I say this, is to have no purpose. For it is common knowledge that men without purpose have vast amounts of time to do purposeless things.

Thats right! Uselessness of the highest order is prize for which we strive! Banter, babbling, gibberish, idle words and thoughts (maybe even hands), gobbledygook, hogwash, babble, balderdash, gibberish, nonsense, a whole lotta' poppycock, rubbish, alot of stuff, and needlessly long ranting all delivered to YOU with a tight, clean look and in a timely fashion!

Even if you didn't ask for it, your getting it anyhow because we know you want it. Heckfire, you NEED it! So sit back and get your blank, detached facial expressions ready. The call has been heard and the Society has assembled; Welcome to The Blackhouse Society of Boston.

Posted By The Deotch @ 11:18 PM

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8:33 PM - Happy Asians!



Maybe Lucas knows them!

Posted By The Deotch @ 8:33 PM

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5:38 PM - another

and another steps from the darkness. his stoic figure resonates throughout the entire building. he knows the house and the house knows him, for he was made in it, born of it.

"gentlemen. sir adamov killidol, esq., at your service."

Posted By adamov killidol, esq. @ 5:38 PM

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5:04 PM - Black House Society of Boston....COMMENCE!

The time has come. The chosen have arrived. The place has been ordained. The keyboards have been christened. Prepare.

traganos123: I remember one time i was wading in the aberjona (keep in mind there was orange muck on the banks of the river) i came out and the where like 200 leeches on my body.
traganos123: So my loving mother Washed me with Pine Sol to kill them off.
traganos123: I was never the same

Posted By The Deotch @ 5:04 PM

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